I don't like to admit it, but today has been 'one of those days.' Sad part is, it has been one of those days that followed one of those days, that followed... you get the picture... With our hectic mom-taxi schedule getting the girls to and from school throughout the day, Howard being gone and me at least 'trying' to keep some semblance of order to our house, in addition to working at night until my eyes go crossed. I'm tired. My work is suffering. And all my woes fall under the cloud of the fact that my heart seems to be unable to recover from losing Anthony in December. I'm sad. And I'm praying with all I have to keep myself from falling into a grey funk. I look at my girls, at my life, and I thank my Lord, then I turn right around and fall back into that black abyss.
And I've been asking the Lord to help me pick myself up. Today, I realized I wasn't asking for what I really needed. I didn't need the Lord to help me pick myself up. I needed Him to pick me up. It finally clicked with me that He IS strong when I am weak. And I remembered, it truly is all about Him, and I was not designed to be defeated. Finally, I quit trying to do it myself and listened as the Lord comforted me and reminded me He is with me all the time. But then, and here is the awesome part -- He didn't give me the good swift kick in the seat of the pants I deserved. He sent a water worker to flush the hydrants in our neighborhood, just in time for me to see the swiftly running water as I went to bring the girls from school.
As we drove home, I decided there couldn't be any harm in 3 little girls splashing in some good clean water. The girls LOVED the plan!! And while they splashed and played, I remembered. How. very. blessed. I am. I snapped photos and thanked my God. As we were finishing playing, I thanked the nice water worker for being a good sport and allowing us to play. He and I had a good visit. (I personally think watching the girls play made his day a little brighter), and then that water worker person became the voice of my Lord speaking to my heart. He told me it was his pleasure to watch the kids have fun, after all he was just "Doing routine system maintenance" to make sure everything continued operating correctly. Wow! Certainly, there was a beam of light from heaven and an angels chorus as he spoke those words that my heart so needed to hear. The Lord still loves me enough to pick me up, dust me off, and do maintenance on my erring heart, and because of that, I can function in a better way for Him. Thank you Lord!!
He spoke to me through a city worker flushing a water hydrant and 3 little girls loving life, just because they can. How awesome is our God?!?!
I don't like to admit it, but today has been 'one of those days.' Sad part is, it has been one of those days that followed one of those days, that followed... you get the picture... With our hectic mom-taxi schedule getting the girls to and from school throughout the day, Howard being gone and me at least 'trying' to keep some semblance of order to our house, in addition to working at night until my eyes go crossed. I'm tired. My work is suffering. And all my woes fall under the cloud of the fact that my heart seems to be unable to recover from losing Anthony in December. I'm sad. And I'm praying with all I have to keep myself from falling into a grey funk. I look at my girls, at my life, and I thank my Lord, then I turn right around and fall back into that black abyss. 
And I've been asking the Lord to help me pick myself up. Today, I realized I wasn't asking for what I really needed. I didn't need the Lord to help me pick myself up. I needed Him to pick me up. It finally clicked with me that He IS strong when I am weak. And I remembered, it truly is all about Him, and I was not designed to be defeated. Finally, I quit trying to do it myself and listened as the Lord comforted me and reminded me He is with me all the time. But then, and here is the awesome part -- He didn't give me the good swift kick in the seat of the pants I deserved. He sent a water worker to flush the hydrants in our neighborhood, just in time for me to see the swiftly running water as I went to bring the girls from school. 
As we drove home, I decided there couldn't be any harm in 3 little girls splashing in some good clean water. The girls LOVED the plan!! And while they splashed and played, I remembered. How. very. blessed. I am. I snapped photos and thanked my God. As we were finishing playing, I thanked the nice water worker for being a good sport and allowing us to play. He and I had a good visit. (I personally think watching the girls play made his day a little brighter), and then that water worker person became the voice of my Lord speaking to my heart. He told me it was his pleasure to watch the kids have fun, after all he was just "Doing routine system maintenance" to make sure everything continued operating correctly. Wow! Certainly, there was a beam of light from heaven and an angels chorus as he spoke those words that my heart so needed to hear. The Lord still loves me enough to pick me up, dust me off, and do maintenance on my erring heart, and because of that, I can function in a better way for Him. Thank you Lord!! 
He spoke to me through a city worker flushing a water hydrant and 3 little girls loving life, just because they can. How awesome is our God?!?!
1 comment:
Kim....this so spoke to me and exactly what i needed to remind me to not be such a 'helper' to God but to just let him have control.
thank you for sharing your precious Littles and your walk with the Lord!
Nadine
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